Fool me twice, shame on me

Posted: August 5, 2011 in CrossFit, Exercise, Fitness, Health
Tags: , , , , ,

So, in my continuing streak of poorly timed illnesses and injuries, I decided to throw in some oral surgery.

I cracked a molar badly enough (probably from my bad habit of grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw during intensive problem-solving … and sleep (extremist enough for you?)) to end up having to have it pulled about … oh, 2006 or 2007. I was told then that I should get an implant. I’ve obviously procrastinated, but I have had a few intervening problems.

Anyway, the time had arrived that I could postpone no more. This sumbitch is over $4K, and my husband’s dental insurance will end when he retires, and he’s seriously talking about doing it at the end of this year or beginning of next. And the entire process takes over three months if everything goes according to plan. So I’ve pushed it about as long as I should.

Last Tuesday I went and had the half-hour procedure, which consists mostly of the surgeon taking a plug out of your gum and sticking a titanium stick in there that they can attach a crown to after the thing heals sufficiently. Let me tell you kids this: I now see why Halcyon is a frequently abused prescription drug. Wow. I got a short vacation from myself, and could truly relate to the “All is Groovy” lyrics from Simon and Garfunkel. (Yeah, I never tried anything illegal, not even pot, although friends assure me I’d really like it.)

Anyway, I was pretty zoned out that day. And the next, which surprised me, because usually Tylenol 3 does nothing more for me than regular Tylenol. Of course, the last time I took it, I wasn’t taking enough muscle relaxant to down a baby rhino. So I was buzzed enough that when my son asked me if I were going to work out, my reply was “I can’t lift heavy machinery.” His reply: “Well, then, you’re fine, ’cause we won’t be doing that.”

So that knocks out Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday I was able to function without the Tylenol 3, and spent most of the day putting out fires from work. By early afternoon, I was completely exhausted. So I took off a third day, but told my husband after we’d watched the latest Netflix delivery of “Foyle’s War” that I would start up CrossFit the next day.

Friday am, more work. I really regret not working out this morning, because it was friggin’ hot out there tonight. Yes, I live in one of the multiple locations with record-breaking heat. The electrical folks have been telling us they’re going to start rolling blackouts because the electrical usage is high, even for us A/C lovin’ South Texans.

I walk out and see “15 minute AMRAP.” Oh, I think to myself, just 15 minutes. Apparently I have short-term memory loss, as the last AMRAP about killed me. But, no, I’m focusing on the 15 minutes, forgetting that first I’ll have to warm up, and then the damn AMRAP will eat my lunch. When my husband said “10 minutes,” I thought he meant 10 to go, not 10 finished, and I thought I’d probably pass out from heat exhaustion before it was over.

I learned two things tonight:

  1. Wall ball sucks when there’s steaming animal poo somewhere in the yard around you and you can’t find it. You just have to breath it in whilst tossing a medicine ball at the house’s siding and catching it. And check your shoes every time you walk back in the garage, ’cause you’re certain it’s following you.
  2. Pouring water on your head when you are overheating and not sweating enough to cool down is a good idea. Pouring it onto your bangs before the aforementioned wall ball makes it slide into your eyes with the salt that’s on your forehead (even if you had no discernible sweat).

I also observed that working out at high temperatures when tired makes you not want to talk to anyone. I think I mostly grunted or simply yelled “Round.”

Let’s see if this teaches me to fear the AMRAP. Maybe not avoid it, but certainly to not think “Oh, it’s only X minutes.”

  1. Me says:

    That’s it? Famous last words of the Crossfit uninitiated. You do know better my dear.

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